Thursday, May 16, 2013

This Is Me. (Part 2.)

I can still remember the last day I saw my parents as a couple. We were driving somewhere at night and my sister and I were supposedly sleeping. I was half awake and could hear my parents arguing. I don't remember what they were arguing about but it wasn't pretty. My dad drove to the side of the highway and turned off the car. The arguing and talking didn't stop. They gave each other a kiss and it's all blank from there. I don't know if I fell asleep or if something happened that my mind decided to erase and throw away. That is the last memory I have of them together. Not what I wished for. I adored my parents and wanted a happy family where my parents were together. Of course I was not that big to understand exactly what was happening. But as I got older I started to understand things I didn't back then. Like my father was very controlling and machista. I don't know if he was abusive or not. I hope he wasn't. I know he didn't like woman to be independent. He had some problems with some of his siblings and his mom. My grandma (fathers mother) was independent and was not a stay at home mother. My grandpa and grandma (fathers side) are still together till this day and are a lovely amazing couple.
So you can see how a woman married to a man like that would want a divorce.
While all this was happening I didn't really notice it. I was happy because my mom and dad spoiled me, or so I thought, and I was seeing my grandparents on both sides. Hey I was probably round 2-3. I had a little sister and I was loved. What else can a girl at that age ask for. How I didn't notice that my life would change from then and turn my world upside down. There would be changes in my life that I would not completely understand but didn't really like.

After that my mom decided to move out of my dads house and move in with her mom, including us. The distance between the two cities is 3 hours. A long time for me when I was a kid. I remember my moms family saying how the adored us and spoiled us. I remember some of the spoiling and adoring but also remember the bad. My mom started working to help out with the expenses of the house and to feed to little ones. My aunt and uncle lived with my grandma. My grandmas house is not that big. It has one main bedroom and a little corner that was used as another bedroom. It had a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom, a little room that was a closet and a patio in the middle. The front of the house was the living room, the bedroom and corner where it was turned into another bedroom. Then was the patio with the orange trees. The small sink outside the kitchen and the covered corner for washing clothes. Then the back was that closet room the bathroom and kitchen. Like I said a very small house. The house was painted pastel green on the inside and would change colors on the outside. It would go from all shades of pink and purple. How I loved that house. So many memories at that house and even in the neighborhood. The only thing that grossed me out and scared me were the cockroaches in the house. They appeared more in the kitchen and bathroom. It was worse in the bathroom because the bathroom was just a simple shower, sink, and toilet. It was dark and this damn cockroaches would appear out of no where. How I hated going to that bathroom.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

This Is Me. (Part 1.)

Growing up in a country that you can’t remember much no more hurts. Not being able to remember much because the memories that you have are from when you were much younger. It hurts when you feel like you’re not from one country or from the other. I lived 6 years in my home country. Those wonderful years of where I spent my youth. I was a happy little girl with no worries but experiencing little moments that would come back at me in the future. I came from a family that was not completely poor but at the same time not middle class. I am the oldest of three from a kid of a dysfunctional family. My mother was 18 and my father was 35 when I was born. Not such a pretty picture. I was born in a hospital that was in a different town from where my parents lived. Why I was born in that town was because the hospital was free. Not a pretty picture. I was born September 14, 1993. I was an only child till January 1995 when my sister was born. I don’t know where she was born or what time. I just remember that like a bit after she was born my parents split up. Their relationship was not you’re happy ever after kind a story. To say that now they hate each other and can’t stand each other. It’s good that they are not in the same country. When they split up a new stage in my life happened.

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